$100 bill

I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to $16.42, and after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for change.

"Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. "Have a great day!"

Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. We can't accept anything larger than a fifty," he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy.

"But you just accepted that last girl's hundred," I reasoned.

"I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it."

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Period

A first grade class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. The first little boy called upon walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

"It's a period," said the little boy.

"Well I can see that" she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?"

Damned if I know," said the little boy, "but this morning my sister was missing one, Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

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An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up."

So the daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day, the daughte rwas riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold."

The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up."

The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is freezing cold."

The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up." He did and his nose warmed up.

The next day, the boyfriend was once again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"

The slightly concerned mother says, "Sure, why do you ask?"

The daughter says, "Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out!"

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