What kind of Woman are you?

A guy stops to talk to a beautiful woman standing alone by a bus stop. "Hello, I must say, you are about the most beautiful women I have ever met."

"Thank you very much, replied the women."

The guy quickly follows up, "I was wondering if you'd sleep with me for a million dollars?"

"A million dollars!" the girl responds. She thinks for a moment and answers, "Yes, I would sleep with you for a million dollars."

"How about five bucks," responds the guy.

"Five Bucks!, What kind of woman do you think I am?"

"We've already determined that," he replies. "Now we are just haggling over the price".

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Christmas Reruns

Three men had died and were waiting outside the Pearly Gates for entry into Heaven. St. Peter came to the gates and advised these men that, because the space was limited in Heaven at this time of year, he would allow them to enter if they were carrying something on them that was reflective of the Christmas season.

The first man rummaged around in his pockets and presented several fir tree needles saying: "These are Christmas trees".

St. Peter, being of good cheer, accepted this and allowed the man entry.

The second man searched his pockets and found some small bells that he presented and said: "These are jingle bells".

Again, St. Peter kindly let this man enter.

The third man searched his pockets thoroughly and suddenly presented a pair of women's panties.

"And what", asks St.Peter, "are these?"

The man replies: "These are Carols!"

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One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back overand taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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The old perfesser was accosted by a hooker just outside the gates of the collitch campus. She said, "How 'bout some relaxing oral sex, honey? ... only $50... you look all uptight!"

"No way!" the old perfesser responded. "I'm married!!!"

"So???" queried the hooker.

"MrsPerfesser will do it for $30," he replied.

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